Sith Sith Sith ...

Movie tripe

Because I imagine everybody else is doing it, my thoughts on "Revenge of the Sith," which I saw today.

I'd agree that this is solidly the third-best of the Star Wars films, well ahead of "Return of the Jedi" but still far behind the Big Two. I could see a straight-through viewing of episodes III-VI as a fine way to blow a Saturday (particularly since you could revel in the fact that you are not watching I-II).

Having started off with well-earned praised, I have to say that the movie is not as good as many fans are saying – I'd chalk that up to a collective sigh of relief after the last two stinkers.

Strong points:

The Droids are perfect. Best use of those characters since the original film 28 years ago.

The special effects are the most technically perfect ever committed to film.

The love scenes are gracefully short.

The story is really, really strong. You get a sense of the moral conflict that drove Vader over the edge.

Only two parallel climaxes this go-round.

The movie does of good job of wrapping up/setting up most plot points heading into Star Wars. (see exceptions below)

Weak points:

Hayden Christensen is an unusually bad actor. The weird, disingenuous vibe that worked for him in "Shattered Glass" is apparently all he's got. He's awful. The movie would be a half-star better with me as Anakin. Really. He stinks.

A little too much from Lucas. Bad dialog is a given. Lucas can’t resist a couple times and drags scenes out a bit. Vader's painful epiphany ends with him yelling "nooooooooooooo…;" a much cooler and creepier moment preceded this unfortunate silliness.

Man, is this movie dark. After the pandering comic relief and kid-friendliness of I-II, this movie is a balled-up fist of rage. Harm comes to children in a big way.

The Wookie thing just didn't do it for me. Ultimately the main problem here is that Lucas is not a very deft storyteller. The first three films are very simple: good guys v. bad guys. The storyline of I-III is actually quite complex, with the duplicitous Sith working both camps against each other. Lucas has trouble pulling that off. I'd assume the underlying story element of the Wookie movement is that the Sith orders the Separatist attack on this backwater planet of monkey-men expressly for the purpose of getting Yoda, who happens to know them, away from the Jedi temple. But Lucas never bothers to impart that, so it just comes off as a totally random action sequence. Like most of these three movies.

There are too many special effects, particularly in the final fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin.

All the lightsaber battles. In many ways, for me they are the biggest problem in this series of films. Not among the Sith and Jedi, mind you – just the idea that lightsabers are an effective military option. Nobody ever hear of a bomb around here? The Jedi themselves say that they are simply peacekeepers in what has been an inherently peaceful Republic for millennia – they are not soldiers, hence the creation of the Clone armies for the purposes of military conquest. And yet every military battle is driven by Jedis chopping on stuff. Oddly enough, that's the main complaint I've heard from non-Star Wars fans, and it sticks. I'm far more comfortable with the idea of the Jedi acting as a super (and somewhat independent) spy organization, thematically in contrast to the military as opposed to leading it. A little light-saber goes a long way.

Apparently, the galaxy far, far away is a very small place. The Emporer senses that Vader is in trouble on an outlying system, and he's there in a matter of minutes. Like that through the whole movie.

No one has explained to me how placing a baby with its one living relative is "hiding" it, particularly when the person looking for it is its father. And apparently pre-natal ultrasounds are not covered by Nabu insurance. Maybe Padme is just lying to her husband about the twins because she's uncertain, as he's so pissed off and Dark Side that he can't listen to his feelings? Write a little.

Enough with the Bush-bashing, already. A universe where genetically super-powered warriors establish their own pseudo-government, complete with marshalling powers, is hardly the platform for lectures about democracy – particularly coming from a princess/senator who is being stripped of her office by her planet's Queen for getting knocked up. The whole vibe with the Separatists wanting "peace" – a couple movies ago they were greedy bankers attacking a helpless planet, as I recall – is Jane Fonda-weak, to boot. Wisely your pulpits you must pick.

I'll see the movie again this weekend.